despite being a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic and wildly optimistic, i have bouts of skepticism that i struggle to fight off until i'm ultimately faced with either extreme joy or quiet disappointment. there can be (what i believe to be) a hundred confirmations, all signs pointing to YES, seemingly undeniable conviction and still, i'll hold onto that sliver of possibility that, yet again, i won't get my happy ending. as hard as it is, i use all my might and faith to silence those doubts as i choose to believe and fight for my promises instead, no matter what the predicaments or how long the delay. then once in a while, right when it really counts, God surprises us with supernatural favor and provision to the point where we cannot ever second guess His direction or His hand over our lives anymore. in the midst of upset and rejection, this tiny glimmer of hope turns into one of the greatest opportunities that we would've never experienced had everything gone according to our original plan or even our backup plan. we hold our breath and beg for something good and God replies, "no, i'm going to give you something even greater. just trust me and wait." somehow every blow from the past is redeemed in this one moment when we finally hear God say yes, against all odds. if there's anything i learned these past few weeks is that you really can't control God or attempt to figure Him out. He is God & i am not- plain & simple. i can't explain why certain things happen the way they do and i'm learning to stop demanding a reason. there are no bribes or magic prayers, no elite connections and name-dropping with God. but there is something to thanking and praising God in every season, especially when it goes against our emotions or what the world dictates. it releases us from being bound by our circumstances and frees us to worship anyways. in all this, we're reminded again and again that it's really not about us at all. God, i am so humbled & amazed by You. You are still good.
God makes miracles out of what seems insignificant: fragile faith, a little kindness, and ordinary people. —Julie Ackerman Link
In all the setbacks of your life as a believer, God is plotting for your joy. —John Piper
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