i'd be lying if i said i'm not sad about leaving NY/NJ to live in hawaii for 12 weeks. i think about all the important events i'm going to miss out on: 30th birthdays, thanksgiving with family, playing football, weekends partying with friends. as far as i'm aware, this is as good as it gets with minimal fluctuations. i consciously have to stop myself from filling my head with all these regrets in order to attempt to comprehend what's waiting for me on the horizon. i'm simply not used to desiring so much or wanting more than i have. it's hard for me to hope for more than what i can see or what i can even imagine. but when i first signed up for this, i know for certain that God was wanting to rock my world and turn it upside down. with only 30 days left until i leave everything that's routine and familiar, i still can't grasp what to expect or prepare for what's to come. i'm just holding onto this great expectation that still overwhelms me like nothing else has ever had the power to do.
"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
C.S. Lewis
No comments:
Post a Comment