I've noticed lately that as I'm walking down the street, I'm consistently seriously tempted to ask random strangers if I can hold their babies, just long enough to steal a whiff of the delicious baby smell off their precious little heads and for the baby's body to mold so perfectly into my arms. This is new. I guess this affirms the theory that women have biological clocks because I can hear the tick-tock loud and clear. This consequently got me thinking about that intimidating M word: marriage. My coworker once told me about how his wife cried hysterically for the whole duration of their honeymoon. Like clockwork, she would wake up each morning, crying uncontrollably, look to her newlywed husband and shrug her shoulders whimpering, "I don't know why." I immediately felt sorry for him but understood her disposition. From the morning after the wedding until forever, waking up next to the same person hardly appealed to me. It's logical that I have this point of view because I've never legitimately been in love or had a long-term relationship and, unfortunately and on occasion painfully, I see people come in and out of my life like an automatic revolving door. Despite these deterrents, I'm an eternal optimist and believe, more than anything else, in true love. But to put it plainly, I believe it's nothing short of a miracle when two people find themselves moving in the same direction on the same path, and in God's impeccable timing, decide to take vows to spend the rest of their lives together, for better or worse. It's pretty entertaining to think that once upon a time, our parents each had separate lives before they met. To me, as silly as it sounds, it seems more feasible to believe that all our parents have simply always been together because we never knew them apart (this is actually kind of true for my parents who have known each other since kindergarten). After almost 29 years of marriage, through good times and really hellish, horrendous times, it's comforting to know that my mom and dad still make each other laugh daily and manage to bring out the absolute best in one another. To that, I believe there may be more hope and sense in vowing to stay best friends forever; exclusive best friends who just happen to be married and have beautiful children together. When the M word is presented in such a way, it's not so daunting anymore. And although I haven't found "the one" just yet, it's exciting to think that one day a man will stand beside me who will make me want to make a vow to be his one and only best friend forever, til death do us part.
"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." Carrie, Sex & the City.