laugh out loud.

it's nearly impossible to hang around me for an extended period of time and not have something to say about my laugh- not only because i laugh so often, but also because it's extremely loud, hearty and distinct. after 29 years of repeatedly feeling self conscious about it, i've finally come to terms with this once and for all. i admit it comes off pretty manly and when i hear myself laughing in a video or recording, i still can't help but cringe in dismay thinking, "omg, that's what i sound like??" what in the world will my mother in law say? without fail every single sunday after service, at least 1 or 2 people come up to me to tell me that they heard me laughing during pdanny's sermons. yup, that has to be jini. i cannot control myself and at times like these, i sort of used to wish i could. i thought if only i could lower the volume or intensity or make myself sound more ladylike somehow, that would be wonderful. it's ironic that oftentimes the traits that we feel most insecure about are the very characteristics that we end up actually appreciating and even cherishing once we fully embrace them. this gradual acceptance comes with age, i suppose, and believing that each of us are the best when we're simply ourselves. as cliche as that sounds, it's absolutely true. i can't imagine politely giggling through life in an attempt to make others believe i'm a certain way. nobody likes a poser. i hope that i'll never have a shortage of reasons to lol and that i have bellyaching laugh attacks every single day for as long as i live ^___^