love & football

a couple years ago, i competed in a spring football tournament playing on the d-line for the very first time. all throughout the prior seasons of training and conditioning, my position had always been the offensive line right tackle. considering the lack of experience, i thought i adjusted to the new role fairly quickly. i remember the thrill of being on defense, aggressively pushing past the o-line to make the tackles, and the high from the adrenaline rush. in my limited knowledge of the defensive line, my primary goal was solely to bulldoze through whoever stood in my way to get to the qb at any cost. i thought that the only thing that mattered was my beast-mode strength and agility to jump off the line as soon as the ball was snapped. by the end of the tournament, my arms and legs were black and blue with massive bruises and my body was all banged up for days. i guess i just gathered that painful collisions and forceful contact were part of the package. not to brag or anything (seriously), but i know i'm pretty strong & muscular. it's just a fact that i've grown to accept. so to be quite honest, i didn't think i even needed much coaching because i was already powerful and aggressive enough. not even a couple weeks into our regular season, i got a mild concussion during practice and received a stern warning from my neurologist to stop all contact sports indefinitely. it's a bad sign when your doctor actually requires you to wear a helmet for flag football. in retrospect, i realized i was playing extremely recklessly to the point where i became a liability instead of an asset to my team because i was injuring myself and my teammates. a couple nights ago while chatting with one of the defensive coordinators about the skills and techniques needed in defense, i had a convicting revelation of how love and relationships relate to the game of football. i've been told by my family & closest friends that my best characteristic is that i love really well- but sometimes to a fault. instinctively from the very start, if i chose to love you, i was all in, full speed ahead, giving away my heart and affections with limited questions or reservations. act first, think later. if i got hurt, which inevitably happened due to my brash and hasty actions, i simply brushed off the dirt and got right back into the game. i relied on pure passion and zealous love to sufficiently cover over any deficiency of wisdom and discernment. i had no idea the gravity of the damage i was inflicting on my own heart through all the years of carelessness. regardless of how much i claimed to believe in true love, soon enough the thought of getting into another relationship or letting someone new into my life freaked me out. and likewise, the fear of getting injured again threatened to trump my love of football. i learned the hard way that there is much needed knowledge in how to utilize my strengths and just as much wisdom to know when to hold back. my coach explained that i need to learn how to read the plays and react accordingly, to use my strength and skills at the appropriate times and be trained to avoid collisions by knowing how to properly maneuver and channel my energy. after months of deliberation, i ultimately gathered up enough faith and courage to try again, all for the love of the game. of course even if i do everything accordingly, there's still a possibility for injuries and there are no guarantees we'll win. that's life. without risk, there is no reward. thank God for grace...& insurance.