a new thing.

even though there remains quite a bit of uncertainty about my future and i'm still in the midst of hashing out all that the Lord did in my life in 2011, i'm finding myself with overwhelming peace these days. it's ironic and kind of an oxymoron, to be inundated by a calm stillness. this is completely foreign to me. i'm used to over-analyzing, being obsessive compulsive and needing a concrete plan. in the absence of having all the answers that i thought i needed, i can honestly say that i've never felt such assurance that i'm right where i need to be. for the first time since i can remember, i have confidence and joy as i entrust 2012 completely to the Lord. the more He reveals His awesome purposes and draws my heart closer to His, the easier it is for me to release my grip of my past. sometimes the only thing holding us back is ourselves. we can't seem to get over a mistake, an offense, a loss, so we carry it around like an anchor. if it's a wound, we pick at it. if it's an ex, we replay what went wrong. what we really need to do is cut off the chains, break free, and freaking LET GO. the past is the past and it should stay there. how will we ever grow if we insist on living in yesterday? the last couple weeks i was forced to deal with a certain perpetual struggle, my achilles heel in sorts, that creeps around me like a little monster and rears its ugly face just when things are smooth and serene. in previous experiences, i was defeated and powerless to combat against the enemy's conniving because i didn't know who i was or my worth. it took months of detox and rebuilding, after being utterly broken and desperate, for the Lord to instill my true identity and authority through Him. this time as i recognized that i was being faced with the same pathetic routine only with minor adjustments, it seriously pissed me off. heck no. i'm so sick of playing the fool, sitting around passively as a victim, and succumbing to this insane cycle. Jesus already brought redemption and restoration when He took it to the cross, why should i accept this? i was made for so much more. but these are just resolute statements and it's clear that talk alone will not suffice. it's absolutely necessary that i'm led by His wisdom and presence, not by mere passion and good intentions. so this is where my part comes in. i'm violently shaking off these lurking monsters and running full speed ahead.

same story + redeemed jini = glory.


But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
The wild animals honor me,
the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
the people I formed for myself
that they may proclaim my praise.

Isaiah 43:1,18-21