you know those kids that grow up in the shadow of a legendary mother or father who become bitter & resentful as they get older because they're expected to follow suit against their will? or take for example someone whose course of life has already been predetermined before they were old enough to voice any opposition- arranged marriages, career paths, etc. no questions asked. from birth, the child's destiny has already been decided for him/her. i never understood what the big deal was. this takes the stress and difficulty out of trying to pick a profession or spouse. just follow the plan, right? not that i'm claiming to be familiar with these predicaments, but i feel like now i can appreciate the suffocation and entrapment that those poor kids must face. without the horizon of choices and options, especially those so closely intertwined to our true identities and matters of the heart, we die a little bit inside. my parents have always been so supportive and prayerful of whatever path sis and i chose. they never imposed their will or agenda for our lives but gave us freedom to pursue whatever our hearts desired, within reasonable boundaries. so whatever expectations and limitations i placed on myself were self-imposed. it became perilous when i started subconsciously projecting these on the character of God. i naively led myself to believe that when the Lord asked me to give my whole life to Him, it would be rigid and predictable if i wanted to remain obedient. i put myself in a tiny little box and attempted to fit God in, too. i should have known that God does not and will not fit in any boxes. that's just crazy. it was literally as if i crawled out of the rock i was living under and was exposed to a world of opportunities. i seriously felt like a kid in a candy store, and i'm not referring to any old cheap candy store in the ghetto. i'm talking delectable, gourmet goodies that the most indulgent connoisseur would revel in. it's amazing how choices and the knowledge that there's often more than one right path liberates a person. through this enlightenment and above all, i believe the Lord was just showing me that there are so many ways to choose Him, to serve Him, to love Him- that He is everywhere. it's precisely because of His great love for us that He gives us the freedom to choose Him. and when it comes down to making those life altering or everyday decisions, we'll know it's right because He'll allow us to feel His pleasure over us. He'll give us peace and intense joy. who am i that He would delight in me? i'm so blessed!
Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
No comments:
Post a Comment