just a border.

although i typically sleep soundly throughout the night, i was awakened last week at 2:30 am with an urgency in my heart to pray for NK. i felt like God was specifically impressing on me to intercede for repentant and God-fearing leaders and open doors into the country. there was a desperation in the deepest part of me that longed to be used and sent out to the children in NK. this is nothing brand new. being korean myself, i grew up with the knowledge of the propaganda & lies, extreme depravity & inhumane living conditions. it was nearly impossible to not weep & be broken for them because after all, north or south, we are korean. in the past, i subconsciously dismissed my inclination and responsibility of sharing God's heart by substituting my burden with a monthly donation to organizations that help to bring liberation in NK. but it's not enough anymore that i just simply give financially. my heart has literally been aching and i believe i'm getting a tiny glimpse into the heart of the Father. the following couple of days, i was wrestling with this idea of being called to full-time missions. my motives were seriously questioned and i thought perhaps i prematurely reacted out of my over-zealous emotions and hype. out of fear, i started planning out how i could secure my safe and comfortable life back at home with my family. i asked myself straight up if this could actually happen- if i was positively ready and willing to give up everything to pursue this invitation and calling to be sent out to the nations. all in or all out. as i closed my eyes and continued to wrestle within myself, i saw an image of me standing outside in the middle of a dirty village, holding a malnourished baby in my arms. i knew then that this is real and claimed in faith that i will serve the hopeless and neglected in NK one day very soon. there's no turning back. before i came to ywam in july, my parents asked me where i would like to go for outreach. without hesitation, my first response was NK. they weren't exactly thrilled with my answer but still somewhat reluctantly supportive. mom and dad were born in the same year that the korean war ceased, 1953, and left the separation between the north and the south. i have just recently begun to grasp that the only thing that sets me apart from the north koreans is a border. something as trivial and yet extremely significant and consequential as a border separates us. that is it. a border is the reason why my entire family lives in freedom. a border is the reason my sis, friends and i are alive and healthy. the fact that my mom and dad were born on the south side of a border is why i'm here today. this revelation just destroys me.

God, send me.

For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy peace and prosperity.
for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.
The blameless spend their days under the LORD’s care,
and their inheritance will endure forever.
In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.
but the LORD will not leave them in the power of the wicked
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.
Hope in the LORD
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

Psalm 37: 9-11, 17-19, 33-34