Sunday, July 24, 2011

stronger.


truth be told, being sick absolutely sucks. i'm losing motivation to leave my room, getting nauseous at the sight of food and falling asleep every half hour. and what's even more frustrating is that i'll sporadically have good days where i feel almost completely better, only to crash again the following day. what a tease! (ok, maybe i shouldn't have gone cliff jumping yesterday. NG). as i was laying in my bed last week, wishing i had the strength to just make it to the prayer room, i realized how swiftly the enemy was to attack me while i was physically so weak. i began to doubt all the convictions from the first 2 weeks of DTS, started worrying about my future again, and felt foolish for thinking that God would actually call me to something greater than the limited ambitions i have for myself. just as i was convincing myself that i will probably end up going back to my comfortable and stable lifestyle at home in december with no real transformation, i caught onto what the enemy was doing & immediately restrained myself from believing the lies. i stopped feeling sorry for myself and reclaimed the truth and the real work He is doing in me during this season. as difficult as it is to proclaim when i don't tangibly feel it, i know Jesus is my healer and He's renewing this weak spirit in me everyday. my desire now is that there will be be less of me and more of Him & He'll literally be my strength in my weakness. thank God He's stronger than our viruses, stronger than the doubts that creep in uninvited, and stronger than the enemy who'll do anything to steal our joy. even in the silence that accompanies being sick at home alone and although i tend to focus on what i'm missing out on, Jesus, could it be that you are wanting to speak to me? far away from all the distractions and voices that cloud up my head, in the clarity of this moment, God, i just want You. yeah, i want Your restoration, Your strength and Your voice, but most of all i just want You.

Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing,I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found
For I have nothing,I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing,I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing
But I love You

With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my might
With all the strength that I can find

Take my time here on this earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing,
I am nothing without You


Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

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